Three Hours in Verona and Thoughts on Travelling Alone

colourfuljourneysItaly, Mental Health, TravelLeave a Comment

I never understood why people don’t like travelling or spending time alone. Surely, if you’re scared it it is even more of a reason to do it! Imagine how much you can grow and take away from it. I am a social person and I thrive on being in a team and spending time with my loved ones, but I do think that being alone is healthy. And not only spending time alone but being comfortable and happy doing so.
To me, the ability to enjoy my time alone directly correlates with how my anxiety is doing at that time. I used to find it incredibly difficult. I could travel alone and be on my own but it made me anxious, caused me to overthink. In the end I survived the experience but I didn’t enjoy much of it. So what is there to gain?
Of course there is a difference between spending an evening alone reading a book, or going to another country on holiday. I do love sharing an adventure with someone of course, but travelling alone has got such an empowering feeling – like I can solve anything on my own.

Because I am such a social person (as I get older it is true less and less though), I surround myself with people so it is a rare occasion that I travel by myself. So when I get or make some time just for me, it’s special and I look forward to it.
So I was flying to Italy on my own to meet Kriszti and my parents in Verona (Bolzano in the end) and when we booked tickets Owen was supposed to come with me.
Now, I was on my own and I was curious to see what it feels like. Am I going to be anxious or will I be enjoying myself? Will I be able to concentrate on the beautiful surroundings or am I going to be preoccupied with my insecurities and being all self-conscious? I was almost always in a relationship since I was 18 – I’ve been looking forward to the experience of finding out more about my reaction. I wouldn’t say I was nervous but I was of course was really hoping I’ll react well.
Happy to report that I did, and this time it doesn’t feel like a phase. I just feel calmer, more content without the shakes. I was happy to read on a bench in a park in Verona, happy to grab ice cream (La Romana!!!) and walk around soaking up the Italy feeling (as much of a roller coaster and whirlwind they were, I miss those days in Rome!).
At least it feels like all the work I’ve done on myself since January is paying off and I need to continue on this path. Thank you podcasts, all my friends and family I’ve got around me!
I literally had 3 hours in Verona to explore, before hopping on the train to Bolzano, the gateway to the Dolomites. So technically I only had less than 24 hours alone but it still felt reassuring to know, I have come far and I don’t need others to be at peace. I am just enough!
Of course it is very much an ups and downs life, but it is so much happier when you have the true calm and strong up periods in between. And for me these past 6-7 months – for the first time in about 14 years the up periods last a lot longer and are a lot less frequent! Slowly but surely getting there.

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